Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
