is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
