just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just pynch a tree in the face
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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