and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
this is an emotional support booty call
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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