i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
