they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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