Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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