Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
