it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
