Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
we made out on top of his cat.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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