Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
