I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
My life is pants optional.
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