i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
