someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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