this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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