I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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