Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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