Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
