I hate all girls vehemently.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
