I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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