I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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