As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize