I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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