I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
