so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
