Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
