So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
