I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
