Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
