'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
