where am i from again
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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