My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Rumble strips road head = magical
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
