I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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