If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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