ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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