We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she smelled like a LAN party
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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