Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
