i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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