he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
