This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I feel like a drive thru vagina
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
