what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
