I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize