I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
