just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
