what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
