she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
love makes seman taste better
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
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