If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
