Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
