Just fell off a train. Bad.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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