drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
