I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
