Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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