i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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