At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
