You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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