i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
