she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
