I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Randomize
