Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
