I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
