Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
