its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
