I'm going to jail i love you
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
