to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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