38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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