You're a womanizer and a bitch.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
My ATM looks so different sober.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
