Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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