Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
So here I am, sexting at work.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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