She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize