if i can run in heels then i can drive
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
