Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
