Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
