So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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