I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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