pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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