The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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