She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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