hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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