Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
