I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I miss vodka workout Fridays
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
